Im probably not explaining or expressing the issues very well. Its not that its not possible - it just is difficult when you are trying to detach GAL and carve out your own path. The dynamic with our friends are the girls usually drive the social life and plans - as many of my guy friends cant be bothered (they might end up here with me!). So I feel there is a control factor at play -it feels like my wife makes plans (even weekends at a time) to maintain control of me and the family.
When we are with friends, we barely talk - but also act like nothing is wrong. I basically feel like it is an element of our life that gives her control over me - which I dont like.
The more I detach the more I dont feel I can really COMPLETELY detach unless we seperate. Does anyone else feel this way?
Vinny, again I don't think you really understand detachment. Detachment is like Green Eggs and Ham. Everyone thinks it can't happen or work in their sitch.
Can you detach in a box? Can you detach with a fox? Yes you can detach in a box! Yes you can detach with a fox!
Vinny, I recently have spent a lot of time on the physical separation, no physical separation issue. Again, everyone thinks the opposite of their sitch is better. Talk to those that are physically separated and they ask "how can I show GAL, 180s and detachment when she isn't around?" Those that are not say "it is too hard to GAL, 180 and detach when I am around her all the time!"
The truth is GAL, 180s and detachment ARE ALWAYS HARD!! Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. No it is not easier if you were physically separated. No it is not easier living together. It is different, yes, but never easier.
You are still focusing too much on her. Once you focus on Vinny then the GAL, 180s and detachment will come much much easier.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
