Update from a very old timer

[LoisB]

So I came on the forum to post the latest development in my situation, and I saw BEATRICE! What!

You are such an inspiration to me Bea. Early on, almost 7 years ago!, you and others like Job, showed me life could be good again-with or without a husband. I hung onto that. And, now, it's so good I can't believe it. I LOVE MY LIFE :-)

Hence the need for a quick post:

Mr. Smokey isn't Smokey the Bear anymore. He has been clean for 10 months. He talks to us all daily. He has started calling in the last month. We talk on the phone weekly and he texts daily. I've called him once. Our oldest is looking at a car and we needed help looking it over.

Anyway, his sobriety is an absolute miracle.

And, initially, it was like someone coming back from the dead. Slowly he was emerging like a zombie.

Now, almost a year after he began touching base again... he is living in his own crappy attic apt. OW is a thing of the past.

And, this week, he bought a car capable of driving the distance between Ohio and North Carolina to see us.

It's not happening tomorrow. But, I'm digesting it.

Our life in our little mountain bubble is good. I am not allowing him to mess it up...

Points in his favor:

1. He hasn't shown a single moment of drama since he got clean. Nothing abusive or monstering has come our way. He is supportive and encouraging of all of us.

2. He has sent money to help. Sometimes without my asking, sometimes when I ask. The latest, he's selling his truck and giving the proceeds to our oldest to help with the car.

3. He's staying away from his family. Part of his sobriety.

Points that make me wary:

1. He's the same guy who did horrific, trauma-inducing things to all of us.

2. It's been almost seven years.

3. I'm happy. I need to keep my focus on my business and my happy life.

4. I don't believe he has gotten any therapy. Not sure he has a sponsor. These are musts in order for him to come to visit.

Mind you--we are only talking about a visit. Still a little unnerving.

Digesting it.

Sorry for hijacking. This seemed like a good place for this post.

LOVE TO YOU BEA :-)