Stander I think the big thing to me was that I showed W respect for her no matter what as the wife of my D on her day, but W could not return the same respect to me and she knew for sure what day it was. It hurt and I guess sadly for whatever reason there's a fair chance that was her intent. To intentionally hurt or get angry at me while she's on her way towards getting what she seems to want, I just don't get that.
Also can't agree more with you...Accuray...that guy keeps me straight. Every single time he's right on the money with what he says. H*LL I'm kinda more worried about doing good to make him proud of me than I am about dealing with my W! :-)
You praise Accuray... yet you are ALREADY not heeding his advice!! I'm going to modify what he told you in his previous post to fit the above scenario:
Can you identify the story you're telling yourself, and how its different from the facts of what happened in the quote above?
W didn't contact you on father's day -- that's the fact, that's what happened.
You told yourself the story that she chose not to contact you as a show of disrespect.
You went further and labeled her as being angry and intentionally hurting you.
With the benefit of hindsight, does that conclusion seem like a stretch to you?
Is it possible that she just forgot, or that she was afraid that saying something to you might get your hopes up and give you the wrong idea and she was thus trying to spare your feelings?
If that's what happened, it had *nothing* to do with you, your thought process, or being vindictive right?
When you start the "stinking thinking" then try to imagine Acc on your shoulder and say "what would Acc tell me right now?" Sounds funny but it actually works, if you start thinking in terms of "what would a 3rd party think about this" it helps remove you from the emotional reaction.
