Indeed I have tried to apologize sincerely a couple of times, but she gave the classic "too late" response.
OK well no need to keep apologizing, if you said it and it was sincere then that is enough regardless of her reaction.
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Things have been becoming warm a week ago since I controlled my emotions and try not to fall into R arguments with her for almost 2 months. I tried as much as I can to take care of the child so that she can have more space and time. She responded positively by cooking meals that I liked during the weekend, having dinner together with me and the child, and she even went out for a movie with me and the child. She knows that's the movie I've been wanting to go.
However, last weekend I made a very stupid mistake asking her if things are getting better between us. She immediately dismissed that idea and saying it was only peaceful because I stopped bugging her, but not better.
Well you definitely blew it. You were making awesome progress and you pretty much set yourself back to square one. She is right, you removed the pressure from her so she didn't feel like she needed to be cold and defensive. But that doesn't mean she has changed her mind yet. You are missing the critical component- TIME. She needs TIME to believe that this "new you" is real. But you got impatient and you temperature checked her and now you're starting over again. That's OK, a lot of us made similar mistakes. Just learn from it and keep moving forward.
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I kept asking why she is doing this and if there is an A involved. She said she doesn't know what is more there to explain other than she doesn't love me anymore.
We all want answers but there are none. Who can explain why their emotions and feelings change. She doesn't know why, so how can she explain to you what she doesn't know herself. And by continuing to ask her about it you are just making her frustrated.
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She is cold to me, but she still talks to me. She sometimes talks about her work, and occasionally our past. What's puzzling is that although she loves our S deeply (she basically raised him up until now, I was involved but not even close to what she's done), she became a little distant from our S now. She hugs and kisses S, but doesn't spend much time with him now. And she gets easily irritated by him. Is there anything similar to postpartum depression going on?
No that's a pretty normal reaction for a lot of WAS's. They are dreaming of a new life and their old H and sometimes their kids are perceived as hindrances to that. Don't try to force her to be a better mom, that will backfire. Again just give her time and space.
