Well, I would tell your W the positives about this new job and relocation. However, I don't think she will go for a reconciliation. That doesn't mean you couldn't work toward that end, once the family moved, but just in approaching her about the opportunity....you might need to be careful that you don't use the reconciliation word or get off into a relationship talk. That may prove to be tricky. If she sees it more in the light of a business agreement (with you and your W) and how it will benefit her, she might agree. I'm not suggesting you withhold anything, just that you don't try to make this a move + reconciliation = package deal. Make sense?
How would you feel about approaching her as if this is a business agreement between the two of you? I know it is not idea, but things could change once everyone moved. Do you believe she would consider it if she didn't think you were pressuring her to reconcile?
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Would I giving her a choice on this of sacrificing her dignity to refocus? I don't want to do that. I also, and she cannot as well, afford 2 households.
If you can leave the relationship part out of the agreement and focus on how it will benefit financially, I don't think she will feel she's having to sacrifice her dignity. WW's don't have a lot of dignity, but they have stubborn pride. If she sees it as relocating and maintaining an in-house separation, she might go for it. As much as I dislike in-house S, that might be your best option, if you think you can tolerate it. That would be something you'd need to decide for yourself. Things could get better for the MR, but there are no guarantees.
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If she were to consider and agree to this, I am also concerned on how to document and protect myself so that if we try to R though this fresh start that if she changed her mind in a few weeks or months that I am protected and not set up and be stuck on the financial side.
Like I said, I don't think she'll go for a reconciliation with the move, but once there......who knows. she may get a new attitude. You make a valid point about her changing her mind to S again. So, my suggestion is to get legal advice in how to protect yourself going forward. It's a big decision. Financially, had you rather be in two houses where you currently reside or in two houses in the new area (worse case scenario). Would you really have to pay for both houses, just b/c she did not have a job? Wouldn't it be her problem how to support herself? I know you say she is not physically able to work, but does the law actually state that you'd have to pay everything for her? (Some people have to apply for disability assistance). Then again, the law can be very unfair at times. IDK, so that's why I say to get legal advice about the financial end of it.
These are just my opinions. You do what you think is best.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
