Can I really do this #3

[Dtrmned]

Sandi. I wish I could just chat with you for hours on end. Your insight is phenomenal. Your 37 rules, a ton of which are very hard, are pure gold. I know everyone here is going through some of the roughest times of their lives. The erosion and ripping apart of their MR and mostly families is heart wrenching to read and experience. I can admit my faults in both what I have done and my shortcomings in my selfishness of sometimes clinging to any shred of hope or positivity when in reality I know nothing other than my W has changed her thought process and her selfish ways are affecting everyone in our home.

Main question this morning. I am being recruited by a company that is very interested and things are progressing quickly. I would expect an offer in the next 2 weeks with a start date of August or September 1. Only issue is that it would require a relocation. The relocation would be to a place that my W would want to return to. Not because of any past friends or relationship, but for a fresh start. Only issue is that it couldn't happen with a physical separation or D as I couldn't afford to finance and support 2 homes and I know for a fact that she cannot afford her own living expenses by herself (I know not my problem, but a reality). So question is, final negotiations and last face to face are next week. IF the offer comes in where I think it will be, I can get my family back on track, get a fresh start for everyone, move to a familiar area though we would know very little people and if W was willing, rebuild our MR through R.

If there would not be an agreement, then it financially just wouldn't work and then there would be the custody issue being a few hours apart, etc. Or we just stay where we are, separate-D or whichever and we end up being stuck in a city that she dislikes. In all the places we have been, my thoughts have always been that home is were my family is, so I am open to almost anything as long as we could remain together and work on rebuilding and happiness.

What do I do. I know I have to wait until the official compensation package to come in prior to speaking to W, but how would this work?

Do I just sit her down and lay the situation out to her and check our options? If she decides not to do this, I have 2 choices. Stay where we are, pass on the opportunity and struggle a little more as we drag on the process, or then push for mediation and D and push for full custody based on the fact that I can provide the best stable home environment and she has no feasible means of income.

I really feel she is in a prison of sorts in her own mind so I don't know how it would go. She hates the city we are in, never has liked it and didn't connect with very many people. She dislikes our current home and with the health issues she feels like it is her prison. Combine that with her thoughts of twisting the facts to her advantage on a horrible abusive unhappy marriage makes for not a pleasant, positive or happy W.

I am not trying to push this as it is kind of coming together but no hard and fast offer yet.

Would I giving her a choice on this of sacrificing her dignity to refocus? I don't want to do that. I also, and she cannot as well, afford 2 households.

If she were to consider and agree to this, I am also concerned on how to document and protect myself so that if we try to R though this fresh start that if she changed her mind in a few weeks or months that I am protected and not set up and be stuck on the financial side.

PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEEDBACK!

Other than W complaining about kids again yesterday, a quiet, non confrontational evening. I had ran a little late so there was not a lot of time for chit chat or akward silence.

I would like some more time to DB, 180 and GAL and rebuild myself, but life doesn't always give you that perfect path. It is frought with decisions, peril and sometimes delight.

SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...feedback and suggestions.