As far as his finances go, I'm only concerned because at my age, a man who doesn't have a plan for his own retirement is a potential future liability. I have enough for my own eventual retirement but not for two - so I need to know a guy will be able to pay his own bills if/when he stops working. I'm not looking to gain any financial advantage, just don't want someone to become my financial liability.

As for his marriage - according to him, his wife was:
- financially irresponsible ( bought a van to carry the kids, two months later traded it in for the longer version, then 8 months later because "all the mom's have Suburbans" traded it in for a Denali. )

- not maternal - when the kids were in preschool he was the one who attended things at the school and answered calls, she was too busy hanging out with the soccer moms. (He worked, she was SAHM). He took the family on vacation to Hawaii every year but after the first year she didn't come. He also did all the cooking and grocery shopping even though he worked full time and traveled for business.

- in the last three years became a three bottle of wine a day alcoholic who refused treatment and had moved out of their bedroom). I suspect maybe she was a drinker even earlier - might explain the "not maternal" stuff - but that she hid it better. This could explain a lot of the above).

He hasn't mentioned anything about either of them cheating but I do plan to ask directly. He also once said something about his ex having an issue when their first daughter was born because she "looked like him". I didn't pursue it at the time but the way he said it sounded like she resented having a biracial baby??? Doesn't make sense though, it's not like she didn't know she was a white woman married to a black man so what else could she have expected? And since he himself is biracial, his daughters are actually quite light skinned (and gorgeous from the family photos he showed me.)

We had a nice dinner last night although I was a bit distracted because my youngest son had a bit of a meltdown before I left the house. I did learn one new thing - he gets pedicures. (The restaurant we went to is next to the nail salon where he gets them.) He seemed surprised that I do my own nails but did offer to paint them for me. (Ex boyfriend used to do this, in a nice, non-foot-fetish way. )

I find myself being kind of skittish though - the last guy who came on this strong turned out to be a bipolar Addict with sociopathic tendencies! And yet, if I keep just going for the distant, Love Avoidant types that's what I'll end up with! And truthfully, CMM seems like just a smart, nice, lonely guy who's enthusiastic about meeting a smart, pretty , sane woman.