Is the reason she is doing this to get a reaction out of me and hopefully I blow up allowing her to justify her decision to D?
I don't think she needs you to do anything to allow her to justify her decision to D. I think she is just trying to get a feel of playing single. The OW could be applying a little pressure ("You've not done one thing to show you are serious about this split") and this could be an attempt to show that she is doing something proactive.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
