I get that. I think that's where I went wrong. I was too depressed and couldn't really dominate anything. The times I tried, I got screamed at for it.
If she had to take charge of most things during the time you were depressed, then I'm sure she did scream at you. By then, she had lost respect in you as a man.
Unfortunately, if a H goes through a lengthy period of depression, it can dramatically change the dynamics in the MR. If he just shuts down and everything depends on her.....the chances of her losing respect for him as the provider, protector, leader, etc., is great. A lot would depend upon her compassion and understanding......which can take a big hit if she's lost her admiration for him. Resentment can come easily, especially if you don't have enough maturity to deal with the struggles facing the couple. Even then, a person can simply wear out. If she saw no end in sight, it may have felt like a hopeless situation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
