Advice on my Scenario Pt. 15-Lighthouse Guardsman

[OrangeK]

I get what you're saying. I mean I'm sure you would love for her to have to feel some repercussions from her actions, but on the other hand what would those be that would bring you any kind of peace?

Yea, honestly. It would. She has had other people take care of her her whole life, between Intimate partners and her parents, she has never had to take responsibility for her actions. Ever. She needs a reality check. She needs to have a reason to FINALLY put on her big girl pants for once and see how the actually feel. I dont want it for my satisfaction, she needs the reality check to grow. It may never happen, but its what i feel needs to happen.

There was another guy here, this was many years ago so I'm sorry but I have no idea his handle anymore, but his W was similar to yours in that it seemed like she had some kind of mental disorder. She left him and he did all the right things as far as DB'ing and giving her time and space. I think they did end up divorced, but he would come back now and then with updates that her fling with OM was not working out like she had hoped and that she seemed to be struggling trying to find direction. Then one day he popped in to report that she had killed herself. It certainly did not bring him closure, or any kind of sense of relief or any feeling that he had "won".

This is a serious fear of mine. People with cluster B personality disorders are something like 60% more likely to commit suicide.
It would be horrid for S3, i DO NOT want WW harmed, or hurt.
This would be devastating.

I promise you your W is not happy with her life and feeling like she's been victorious over you. She's a mess, and if she doesn't eventually get help there's no telling what her path is.

Just to play the devils advocate, what makes you so sure of this? i dont disagree at all, i am convinced she lives, and has lived since well before we met, in a perpetual state of anxiety, self loathing and guilt. Just curious what you have read that makes you so confident she is a mess behind the mask

Make a written list of the things you want. Ask yourself if you can get those from W. If not, then ask yourself what changes you need to make to get on the path of achieving everything you want and leave her in your dust. Keep that list and look at it now and then.

List of what i want.

Love, Real unconditional love - I dont think WW is at all capable of this, with me or anyone else. Shame.

A team-mate, someone to support me while i support her - WW did a good job pretending at this for a long time, but it wasnt genuine.
She was only proud of things i did that she could boast about.

An actual sex life - She was AMAZING at first in bed, i actually think she is somewhat asexual. She seems to get far more out of the attention, admiration and control she gets out of using sex to her advantage. I think she likes the thrill of a one night stand too. Again, it was all part of the act. When i was "locked in" for her, the sex became very routine and boring, unless she had been drinking a bit.
That makes me remember her trying to justify / explain the affair when she was still claiming it was a one night stand, "You KNOW how i get when i am drunk!"
Gross.

Honesty and Faithfulness - I was SO CONVINCED WW would never cheat on me, lie to me and so any of the things she has done, so good is her ability to act and convince. She has shattered my ability to trust. I need that back.

Financial security and a Plan for growth - i wanted to buy a house, save money, grow, provide for S3 and so much more. We talked about houses we liked but it never went further than that, She never combined accounts, shared finances, or even changed her address to where we were living. it was always her mothers address. Sketchy.

WHO CARES whether she thinks she won or not, except maybe her. And if she does think that way, then how petty is she.

You are right there, and im sure she has been including that in her smear campign. "My ex is so dumb, look at how much hes messing this all up!! what a dummy!"
She's Sad.