Thanks Doodler. Really appreciate you taking the time to provide your thoughts, and very helpful insight. Will certainly try to GAL more. Aside from exercising regularly and getting out during the day, it's a little tricky to go out at night as would look odd to the kids, but everyone now and then is ok, I know.
I also think separation will be good for me, although I'm concerned she wont move out (and I definitely do not want to - why should I?). The stress levels will reduce and detachment will be much more straight forward.
UPDATE FROM JUST NOW: I thought my W was off seeing houses today. I think I was wrong. I think she saw her lawyer because I have noted she has downloaded divorce documentation. She wouldn't have done or known what to do without advice. She has another session in her diary for this Friday, so I am concerned she is planning to complete documents tomorrow and meet with lawyers on Friday with a view to filing. And we haven't even had a discussion about the R yet!! Although of course I know this is the outcome she was planning, I am understandably reeling from the fact that she was going to go ahead with this without even having the courtesy or respect to talk to me about it.Or maybe she plans to do the documentation and then speak to me about it so she is fully prepared to push the button straight after we talk. Probably.
She is so sly, scheming WAW - which I obviously knew already. Aren't they all. But I think I need to break DB rules and initiate the conversation tomorrow morning when the kids are gone. She should at least have the decency to tell me what she is feeling and that she has decided we need to separate. Any views on whether that would be the right thing to do now? It seems appropriate given the circumstances. I need to be able to defend myself and so this is just information gathering - she'll probably lie but she'll tell me some things I can use.
I will also chat to my L tomorrow too. I've briefed her that this might happen.
Any advice very gratefully received.
_______________________________________________ M47 W50 T-21 yrs M-19 Yrs S17 S15 D12 Found out about A 04/12/18 BD 04/15/18 Admitted A, name of AP and separate rooms 04/29/18 Told kids 07/22/18
