Advice on my Scenario Pt. 15-Lighthouse Guardsman

[OrangeK]

I don't understand. How is you living a good life with your son letting her win?

I didnt say anything about me Living a good life with my son being attributed to my feeling of "letting her win".
I feel like its letting her win to simply sit back and do nothing, and walk on eggshells so i dont incur her wrath any further than i already have. It feels defeatist.

What can you possibly do to stop her from going off into the sunset with OM. What do you have in your power to have her not do that?

I dont care if she stays with OM, that is a forgone conclusion. Its going to happen, at least for the next 2-4 years until she devalues him.
I simply wanted to discuss the feeling of powerlessness that i have from everything that has occurred over the last year. She sought and found, and sucsessfully hid the affair for 8 months, WIN. She stung me along as Plan B the whole time afterwards, long enough to get her new life set up and comfy. WIN. She is getting what she wants in the Divorce. WIN. I am getting PORKED in the divorce. WIN.
at each step of the process she has gotten what she wanted, what she lied and manipulated for. She has had no repercussions, no set backs and no justice for her actions.
How does that not drive you crazy?

You know how win's when YOU don't GAL or do 180's or make your like better for yourself?

That's when she "wins" and you "lose" Because she still marches off into the sunset with OM and you are just angry and bitter without making a great life for yourself.

I never said I am not going to 180 and GAL, it just doesnt feel like "winning" per-say. I will be a better ME no matter what.

FWIW, my ex H has exactly what he wants. He wanted to be a very part time father. he didn't want the same woman to be his wife and the mother of his kid. He did get what he wants. Did he "win"? Nope. Because whether he won or lost is no matter to me. All that matters to me is me and my kid.

I wish i could be as apathetic about that as you are.
Sorry but i cannot just accept her "Winning"
Im sure to your EX's mind, as warped as it may be, he did WIN, because he got what he wanted.
I cannot abide that.
I dont think i will ever be able to confidently say
"Because whether or not she "Won" makes no difference to me"

we are just different in that regard Ginger.