There are other techniques in DR aside from the 180/LRT style. It sounds like you need to do some serious work on effectively communicating with her and reconnecting emotionally.

She does not feel like a person from the way you described things. You need to find ways to show her how much you respect her as a woman, not just a wife and mother.

Work on yourself regardless. Listen to her complaints and take a good look at yourself and decide if you are happy with the man you are, and if not, start working on those things that you are not happy about.

Do not expect a quick fix to this. You must be patient and disciplined. Do not get into arguments. No trying to reason, no begging, no crying. Just try and be her friend right now as much as you can. Listen more than talk. Agree where you can, try and show understanding where you cannot.

M: 40 W: 37
T: 20 MR: 13
S13, S9, S4
BD: 1/29/18
Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out)
8/24/18 I come home, she moves out

If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.