44, we all struggle with that. I know I vacillated between the same kind of thinking. That she didn't deserve me anymore. And then that she was still the girl I married and I needed to give her more time.
44, the trick is until you embrace the first fully, and realize that the girl you married is gone. Forever. You don't have a hope of ever attracting her to a new MR. Let her go to get her back. That is the only thing that really works. You have to tap into that desire that innate in all humans that they want what they've lost or can't have.
Thanks, Steve, it helps to know this thinking is normal. It's strange, for me it's not really about realizing the girl I married is gone, but more like that she never even existed. Like maybe I was blind and somehow deluded myself.
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44 remember too that once you are over her, you don't have to deal with her ever again. I know it is hard to believe that you will be happy about that. But one day, if you end up D, you'll thank the Lord above that you two didn't have kids. And that you can move on.
Think of it this way: it is a win-win. Either you will have a renewed MR with a woman you love, or you will move on unattached to someone that truly deserves you.
I definitely agree, if things don't work out, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a generous amount of favorable conditions to move forward from this. I never lose sight that it's a win-win. But it doesn't change the fact that it has to hurt along the way.
M: 26 W: 26 M: 1.5 T: 3 No kids BD: 31 March 2018
W's affair began: 23 March 2018 Affair confirmed: 18 April 2018 Confrontation/claims she ended A: 14 May 2018 Ended in-house separation: July 2018
