Accusations and snide remarks make the H look unattractive and powerless. The more you say about the OM to her, the less she'll desire you. Nothing was gained or resolved the other night. The dynamics have not changed. Do not think for a second you caused her to worry by letting her know you "were on to her". She still holds all the power, and she'll continue to hold it until you reach the place you are done fretting over how to treat a W you suspect of having an affair.
Do not be impressed with her coming home and putting on her dutiful act of W and mom. It was not her way of making baby steps.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
