Affair, no feelings...is there hope? V

[44tries]

I am having a hard time with detachment while still living together. It IS improving, but it feels like a tug of war against associating with my W. I am GALing and giving myself times where I feel great. But I need more structured guidelines for how much time I should be spending with W and what kinds of activities, etc.

Note that I already shut down any association during which she is disrespectful or uncommunicative. It's times where she is not moody and acting nice and normal that I don't know how open to be. Today she came home randomly around lunch and asked if I wanted to come to her work to play board games and swim for the afternoon. I accepted, but I don't know if that is inhibiting my detachment or if you can still detach while doing any of that stuff. We had a fun day and all her saltiness from yesterday was gone. We played around in the pool and when we got home she rushed me to finish my shower so we could nap and watch TV together. It's all well and good, but half of me feels guilty like I'm doing something I shouldn't and sabotaging myself. I know that I can't nice her back and I don't want to enable cake eating. But at this point in time, I just need more clarity on where to be on the "I want nothing to do with you" scale (my actual emotions are still on the typical roller coaster of love, anger, hurt, apathy, etc, repeat).