I've worked with a few ICs in my life, and the best ones were women. Not saying there aren't some great men ICs out there, but I connect really well with women and my current IC rocks.
As I said, I look for ICs who are not going to give me a 12 step program. I think DBing and GAL can give you a lot of tools. What I love about my IC is that she gets me to do some serious emotional work and even looking at the past to better understand my behavior and instincts. And then figuring out a plan to move forward with those insights.
It is some hard work and takes a long time and there is no direct path to self worth, self esteem etc. The healing has to happen in stages and with every stage, you take more risk and understand yourself and your life situation better.
That's just my personal take on it and what's worked for me best.
