Thanks for the support. I find it really bizarre because for the last month or so (starting 3-4 weeks post BD) I have felt stronger than I have in ages. There was a feeling of calm that came over me when I realized that my worst fear (abandonment) came true and I was still standing. Not only was I still standing but I was physically stronger, mentally stronger, and with more of a belief in my future than in years. I feel like the BD snapped me out of depression and allowed me to reframe my life experiences in a whole new way. I don't feel like it has depleted me at all.
Of course that doesnt mean that I am not incredibly sad and anxious and longing to reconnect. It is a veritable sh@tstorm of emotions on a daily basis. But I dont doubt my strength.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
