W rushing thru D, help

[Davide]

I am no expert, but it seems like what you are doing is working, so why change it? It seems like pursuing at this point might just push her away again. If she is contacting you a lot that is a great sign, but let her continue it.

GALing should be both in my opinion. At the outset it might just be a distraction from the anxiety and thoughts about the R, but as it goes on it is how you build your new life. If you arent really building a new life then how are you changing, how are you going to get into a better place to restart the R (or start a new one)? It is normal to have the thoughts of missing the W and the MR. I get them every single day. Sit with them, feel them, acknowledge them, name them... and then find a way to move on from them.

Goal setting should be all about finding the small steps to becoming the person you want to be. It's very personal. For me, I focus on exercise goals, self-education goals (IC, self-help reading, meditation, CBT exercises), social goals (GALing stuff), and family goals (not R related, but focusing on my parents/brother). But they need to be action oriented and small enough that they are doable and trackable. I track how often I do yoga, how often i get out on my bike, etc...