Advice on my Scenario Pt. 15-Lighthouse Guardsman

[OrangeK]

Wave incoming.....The pain, the injustice, the WASTE AND DISAPPOINTMENT. What a freakin' shame.

Why wasnt i enough? How could she got from White to Black in her view of me overnight.....? She said i was the best thing that ever happened to her, that she loved me more than anything in the world. Then was cheating 3 weeks after our wedding, the picture perfect wedding she planned for over a year, and by this past March, her dress was crumpled in a puddle in a storage unit, along with every other sentimental item we owned.

How can someone do that? How can she be so blind, callous and cold?

Its like her soul died a long time ago, and i was just a temporary salve for her pain. I think she is always lonely, always sad, always hating herself and her choices, but she continues to make the same mistakes, cause the same pains, repeat the same behaviors.....

I never wanted any of this. I just wanted my family, forever. I wanted what i signed up for, She just tore my whole life away without a backward glance.

All we built, went through together, and planned together, gone in a flash, no remorse, no regret, not a tear shed.

WTF. She really is a cold and hurtful person. How did i ever see such radiance and beauty??? What an actress.

Still cant shake this thought that everything will be perfect and golden for her an OM forever. that would destroy me....

----------------------------

Taking a long lunch to decompress and re-energize.
Sorry to get all glum, but i needed to bent through the wave.