To be clear, I have already told W a week ago that I believe she is having an affair. She gave me no response at all about it. She's been sleeping on the couch since then because I told her I would no longer sleep on the couch while she is having an affair. I have stopped grocery shopping, making meals, cleaning the kitchen, and washing bath towels and washcloths for her. In the kitchen I am trying to just clean up after myself and my son. Closing joint accounts was a priority of mine too but I'm trying not to obsess about that at the moment. W had agreed to stop sharing joint accounts but seems to have changed her tune since learning she could still get half in a settlement regardless of where the money is kept now.
My therapist is encouraging me to continue asserting myself, which is important for my own self-growth. That means clearing the air with W about her agreeing to separate accounts and then backing out of that agreement. For the next two days though I'll be out of town going to a cousin's wedding by myself, and I am looking forward to leaving all W drama behind during that time.
All good stuff.
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EricC, I like your first point above. That's pretty much where I've been trying to get to mentally and emotionally. Keeping my ring off has been helpful I think in seeing that I'll be fine without her. I still believe R would create the best outcome for all long-term, but I accept that my belief isn't going to get us anywhere anymore without some buy-in from W.
Great that you told us what's on your mind, don't tell her that.
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And if she's not even going to apologize for having an affair, I'm not wasting my time pursuing anymore.
It might be a waste of time either way. Let her figure it out and come to you.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
