Looking at his mood swings a friend of mine who knows my sitch thinks he is bi polar, he has claimed he is depressed but how can I get him any help if he is unwilling?
You can't, so don't try. You are the LAST person he would listen to right now about something like this. Honestly probably 90% of the spouses of our LBS's here could benefit from some good counseling and perhaps even medical intervention. But by the time we end up here, our spouses are beyond listening to our medical and mental advice, LOL! So we work on ourselves and hope they work on themselves as well.
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The irony is his reason for D is that he feels I have subjugated him the last few years in the MR and this is how he has become?
Separation will help him realize that you are not the problem after all. Not right away, but eventually. That's why we're constantly saying around here that S isn't necessarily a bad thing. It helps the LBS detach and move on, and it removes the LBS from the WAS's "equation of what's wrong".
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I know a few spouses are angry after BD and H is extreme, but what could contribute to his extreme anger, resentment and then a few days of subdued tolerance?
Who knows, maybe he really is bipolar, or maybe he's going through MLC (which has characteristics similar to bipolar) or maybe he's just cranky. He probably doesn't know why he acts like that, so there's no chance that you'll ever know.
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I dont know what this phase is, but if he had a physical illness I would have stood by him, now I know he is unhealthy and will still stand by the MR, but keeping myself and kids safe is above all else.
