Thanks for your advice and support V, it brings me a lot of courage. Lonewlf, thanks for your kind words. God only knows how much I need it going thru this.

I had actually consulted a L when all this started and she had said it is better if he moved out. But in terms of custody there is nothing I can do right now unless I want to proceed with separation agreements which will only make the D easier for him with the custody sorted out. So it really is a catch 22 for me.

I was taking both Ds out on Sunday and we got delayed by half hour than planned with feeding and getting them both ready. D3 had her toys all over the place and the houselooked messy and I didnt have a chance to clean it up. H completely lost it just as we were leaving.
H to me - You are still here, just procrastinating not leaving. You are not giving me anytime at all if you leave late
H to D3 - What mess have you made here with all the toys?
I - Let it all be as is, I will clean it up once I get back.
H - Ya right!
H - I need you all to leave right now, Just get the f**ing hell out of my house. All 3 of you, I am done with you, get out
D3 got scared as I started putting her shoes on
H - Get out
I - Ok H, we are leaving

Before we left, he suddenly got a pang of guilt I guess, came and hugged D3. She was upset in car asking me why daddy was scolding her.

for the first time, all this was in front of his sister who lives with us but travels for most part of the week. She had no comments, she has decided to side with her brother.
They were never close before, but just before BD he started getting really close to her. Does not discuss personal stuff but are buddies sharing jokes and hanging out now. He still does not socialize with anybody else.

On return he was being extra nice to her, made dinner and had the house clean. once he had his time to chill, swim(went after 3 months) and go out he was relaxed by the time we came back.To his credit, he does do most of the cooking and cleaning as if in competition so I do not get a chance to do it at all

At night he wanted to have D talks once kids went to bed.

Confirmed he was moving out aug 1. Said he will not be able to pay mortgage and rent on an apartment so he will split only the equity part of mortgage with me, does not want to pay for interest, insurance, maintenance and taxes on house.
H - you have been sitting on your @$$ doing nothing about this, its been 3 months. You have put me in a bad place financially, i have to pay rent and bear the mortgage payments and I cant do all mortgage. Why are you not making decisions?
I - I am still processing all that you are saying, it takes me time to understand and come to decisions.
H- It has been 3 months, what are you still processing?
I - I am trying to understand all this, its a life altering decision and it takes me time.
H - You took me granted for all these years and did not have problems processing things then, saying so walks away before I can respond.

Also for fathers day, he did not want to go out with Ds. I took both of them out by myself, it was hard to manage the two little ones and see how everybody else was a full family enjoying themselves but I dont suppose that ache is going away anytime soon.

How does one keep hopes alive of a healthy MR again and recon? I have not given up, never will but WAH's determination is unwavering.