So W and D19 came home from college this afternoon. D19 takes off to have dinner with her friend and WAW asks if I will follow her to return the rental car. I agree and D15 rides along. WAW explains how D15 is joining friends and could we go to dinner a little early? I agree.
After dinner D15 asks can we pick up a male friend and drop them off at another teen's home. So we pick this guy up and I don't chat on the ride to the destination. WAW makes some small talk and the teens catch up. I deliver the two and we ride home. I stay quiet. No real reason but I was tired and besides, I am recommitted to "the rules".
W showers and I catch up on emails. W comes in and asks if I'm okay. This is unusual in its self. I just kind of shrugged and asked "why" Well, I should have realized this was just a segway to what she really wanted to say. She lit into me for being so rude to D15s friend. I said I don't believe I was rude. I said hi and that was it. She went on about how my Ds avoided me because I never seemed showed interest in there lives. I don't believe this. Both my Ds like to spend time alone riding around after dinner listening to music. Obviously the share girl things with their mom and if they want to get away with something she tends to be more of an enabler. I ask questions like who, what where and how. All dad type concerns.
I honestly believe her point was to hurt me. Not to understand. Not out of concern. After her typical passive aggressive dismissiveness. Which I pointed out and she seemed to try to curtail. Old habits die hard. I refused to argue. I did defend my actions with facts. But the conversation ended and I left.
Reflecting on this convo and its accusations, I made some realizations. I guess I've known but it is brought to the forefront.
What has become more apparent is a triangulation dynamic. I enjoy spending time alone with my D19 I enjoy spending time alone with my D15 I enjoy spending time alone with my wife
Put either D with W and it's not a lot of fun.
Anyway, Happy Fathers Day all you LBSs.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
