I agree that addicts, adulterers, and liars have that mentality Zues. The mentality of "they r the problem i deserve better"
I will tell you, i would never ever cheat on my partner. I would not have the potential to inflict that kind of harm. I would never lie about money and secretly withdraw enough money to buy a home while my child was living with my in laws. I would not have the potential for that type of thievery and that type of potential.
I think where you and i disagree is that i believe that individuals are who they are and make decisions based on who they are.
I really believe once a cheater always a cheater. Once an addict always an addict, once a deceiver always a deceiver.
I think that, because i would not make those choices. I have them but would not make them. I never did, never will. Its who i am at the core.
Lets say a man took his ex wife back who cheated. He brought her to an island with no other men. And she never cheated again. Marriage might be better. But at the core she is still a cheater. There is a weakness and inherent selfishness in them at the core. Theres a difference between people that pull the trigger and people that dont.
I think a person that truly changes is really really rare.
I honestly believe that encouraging reconciliation with these types of people is a short term solution and irresponsible. Its like putting a band aide over a major wound. Its like letting a sociopathic child molester back to teach kindergarten.
I think band aides and short term solutions are bigger problems with our society.
I think your beliefs about marriage would be better served by harsher penalties on people that do walk away from their families. Like look at it case by case. Why should a stay at home wife that cheats on her husband get a permanent meal ticket, paid legal expenses, and custody of kids? Why is a man that walks away from his wife and kids only responsible for a small fraction of support ?
Why does our legal system and society support and protect F.ups? To me thats the real problem.
I think it is dangerous and short sighted and irresponsible to not address abuse. The people buying those books are usually people like us anyway.
