Wow, Sandi...You really hit the nail on the head..My W contacted me needing to meet to discuss her purchasing a new car cuz her car was in my name so we met for a drink..We were having great discussions, laughing and shared some good reminiscing memories...I made sure to follow the rules of being a good listener (eye contact, positive body language, acknowledgement, acknowledgement, acknowledgement) and definitely not bring up the relationship..She, to my surprise did open up to discuss our relationship with lots of emotion and tears..She said she was going to counseling, which she was very against in the past..She is realizing that she was always focused on pleasing and taking care of everyone around her and ,like me, was trying to keep up this Perfect Marriage expectation...She owned up and admitted that she didn't communicate her issues to me or anyone else around her and that was her fault and on her..I continued to listen and empathized with her and fought the urge to try and fix it and say we could work through it..I was proud of myself for this because it was difficult to see her in pain! She continued and said we had mostly unbelievable experiences and some bad ones...I asked her to help me understand the bad experiences because in my mind, we didn't have many awful memories..She thought for a moment and it was the having a kid issue...Some background, about 5 years into our marriage she really became interested in having a kid but I now realize that I was scared to death of being a father like my father..So we agreed to getting a dog first, then we bought a house, then vacations...Finally, last Spring I was ready to commit to having a child so we begin trying in October...She was so happy and excited and our already good sex life became great..I too was preparing and excited to become a father but for some reason I kept up the dumb macho fascade of kids were the end of our life, blah,blah, blah, which REALLY bothered her but she didn't communicate that to me and I didn't communicate my TRUE FEELINGS of excitement...This caused her to believe that I really didn't want a child and was just appeasing her..She always had a deep fear that I would leave her if we had a child and I always tried to ease her concerns that I promised my life to her...This was the only time I allowed myself to cry, when I was telling her my true feelings of looking forward to being a father...I always prided myself on being completely honest with her and following through on my promises and asked her if I ever promised her anything that I didn't follow through on with my heart and actions..She agreed no and I think realized a little bit that I truly was all-in..This was really insightful because when she DB she couldn't give me any reasoning..
She continued that she is using this time as a Personal awakening of who she is and is doing some traveling alone,etc to discover herself...It was very mature of her to come to this decision because she always just distracted herself from any issues and I emphathised that I was very proud of her for facing the tough task of looking inside yourself...I know that I can't help her fix this and this is an internal struggle that she has to do on her own...Yet, as I wake up another morning with this hole in my chest longing to spend more time and more experiences with her, it still hurts so much but I gotta keep doing what I'm doing...I gotta remember that 8 days ago, she was cold, angry, and a freight train and now some of that beautiful person is beginning to shine..Baby Steps, Baby Steps..
We always joked that we should write a relationship book and she said "after the last 5 weeks we've become experts on the subject and the very lease sounding boards for each other in the future"..I positively asserted "I will always see you as my wife and I couldn't view myself as anything other than your husband. We've been too intimate and shared too many experiences to be anything else" I wanted to be clear that I communicated this expectation with her and she agreed...At the end, we shared a hug and she said "it was great to see you and I will always care about you", I held back and just said good-bye
All in all, it was a very positive interaction but it is difficult for me when I want R so bad, but I understand that I have to be PATIENT and allow TIME for her to find her way..

Thanks again for your thoughts and input, I really looking forward to your insights because it helps me to feel that I'm not alone