Actually detached does mean that. It means what she does and says no longer affects you. Also, while you see the PW as a betrayal, there is a long way from changing an email PW and having sex with OM in the marital bed. What you are calling betrayal is really just a lack of transparency, not betrayal.
Your last post was exactly what I was getting at. Detachment is not something that merely do. It is something we live. Yes we can fake it until we make it, but we haven't made it until we no longer even have to try. It just becomes natural.
Point well taken Steve. Detachment does mean not caring. As for the whole PW thing? W said she would be transparent. Said she wanted to restore my trust. She lied. I consider it betrayal.
I believe that there are degrees of detachment. The day I become completely detached I will no longer desire any reconciliation.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
