Quote: But how do you get a person who can not speak the language of physical touch to become very good at it.
Well, a really good massage course can certainly be helpful. I have half of the training toward a massage certificate, and I've seen lots of people learn to touch in a way that they did not understand previously.
Master's and Johnson recommended "sensate focus" exercises. I have no idea how helpful these are in practice.
Quote: Now about the books trying to tell women how to make their guys lower desire, well I have read some of the book covers, and these books are telling the women that they can change their man, so that he meets their needs. How? By REIGNING in his horrible sex drive, and getting him to enjoy communication, affection, romance, all of the LD traits.
Well, I'm VERY HD, but I also like communication, affection, romance, quality time, encouragement, etc. I have a lot of hunger for food, but the food tastes better if it's cooked, seasoned, and served on a plate on a well-dressed table. I don't think that a nice restaurant is catering to my natural hunger less well than a McDonald's would. This isn't about lessening hunger, it's about enhancing the entire relationship.
Quote: Personally, I am all for giving her what she needs, but the affection and sex has to become a whole lot more closer to MY needs in order for it to work in the long run. Her needs do nothing for me.
I agree. Right now, I'm trying to focus on her needs, and hoping that will pan out in my needs. I've been running around with an empty love tank for most of the last 20 years, and I know how tough it is. But I do think I'm going to have to tough it out and attend to her needs, hoping that she'll become more interested in mine.
