I guess we avoid thinking about this stuff, and rightfully so in the beginning as we should be focusing on ourselves, but at some point this reality has to be accepted and get past it. I am in a place where I am fairly grounded and excited about my future that I can handle it. I don't think six months ago this would've been the case.
It also helps to realize and keep in focus that you don't want your partner back like they were before. I am acutely aware of what are my non-negotiables in a R and W has a bunch of them. So, if I were to meet her today and we went on some dates, it wouldn't lead to anything.
It is kinda weird cosmic surreal journey filled with anger, pain, hope, compassion, sadness, strength, and sheer will. I've been thinking about being an LBS is floating in space with no help in sight. Gotta figure out how to get over the panic and then chart a plan to get back to earth. But, while you're floating over the earth, you see all the destruction, but also all the beauty of the planet. And you choose to get back to be part of that beauty and understand that destruction isn't going to stop your drive to live a full life.
I am on my way back to the ground to be with the beauty.
