Davide, LoneWlf and Maika, It really helps me when I read that folks are supporting me , thank you for your responses.
Originally Posted By: Davide

That said, I think the situation might actually be better if/when your H leaves the house. Getting distance from him would be really healthy for you. The less you have to interact with his nastiness the better for your detachment and mental health.

You are doing great. Hang in there.


Thanks Davide, it might turn out to be better, rather I have no other choice but to hope so and make the best of what I am dealt with. It is just so hard to compartmentalize.

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When you are separated it may make him miss you even more(absence makes the heart grow fonder

Thanks Lonewlf, I have been trying to be the best I can be but it doesnt seem to affect him, he has decided to turn a blind eye to it. So I am telling myself he needs to go on his own journey to figure out the root of his pain and depression is inside him and not me.

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What are your plans once he moves to the apartment? Is he going to help out with the kids? Start planning for his departure and what that will look like.

Great advice Maika, I am going to look for nannies so I can transition the kids slowly. The biggest challenge is going to be the house too, we have a huge one and winters can be brutal with all the maintenance, but well all I can do is suck it up and keep moving forward I guess.

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I can't imagine how this is with such little children. He's truly an a$$hole.

This is all so unlike him. He has been a great guy for 15 years and suddenly just goes berserk. I seemed to have fallen for, got married and had children with an idiot so I have to somehow see myself through this.

I was not sure if he really wanted to move yet, this guy has wavered from moving in a few days to wanting to stay together after D and now wanting to move out again in matter of 2 months, each day is a new story. But this morning I found an apartment brochure conveniently left on my car seat, he has found an ultra lux apt with rent more than the mortgage of our home. Even this is unlike his frugal, smart spending habits. The place is 50 mins away from home, he had originally said he will live close by so he can be around for the children.
I wish he had stayed so the Ds would have had their parents for longer and changed his mind, but if it is meant to be it will be I suppose.