Moving on (Saying ILY pt. 5)

[mtb1981]

Struggling a bit today with a decision. I talked to the L a few days ago and we went over the paperwork. I told him to give me a few days to go over it a few more times and I'd get back to him. Just not sure if I'm ready to pull the trigger. I took my vows seriously, but at the same time I've put up with a lot of $hit lately. Part of me wonders if WW is going through an early MLC. She has some serious childhood issues she has never dealt with. She's made absolutely no contact for a week now. Last time was a single phone call last Friday that I did not answer. She has been staying away and not causing the problems she has been the past few months. I feel like I have not given her enought time to come out of whatever it is she's going through and filing the papers for D is doing all the work for her. Somewhere deep inside, I feel like I should continue to stand. To show her that I haven't given up on her. At the same time, she has been very slanderous and I feel it's possible she may not come out of it. This is a huge life decision, and I don't want to make any rushed decisions. This is by far one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make...

I know we're not supoosed to believe anything they say and only half of what they do. But a couple weeks ago, when she lasr stopped by the house, we had a pretty good interaction. I know I can't put any validity into this, but nevertheless, she was pleasant and so was I. Then there was a few random texts that she sent that I did not respond to. Followed by one that said she thought things were getting better between us and she was hurt that I was treating her like that (not replying). 99% of me knows that it was just manipulation, but that 1% makes me wonder if our good interaction that day was making her think. I wonder if I should have replied to her texts and continued to be cordial. Showing her that I am not her enemy. Started to be dim instead of dark just to see what would have happened. Too late for that now. I know eventually she will contact me again and I will have a chance to show a positive version of me. The man only a fool would leave...