Arsh - you are in a tough situation right now. He is behaving like a fool and immature child. I know you want to focus on your goals, and you should, but there are more urgent matters to figure out.
What are your plans once he moves to the apartment? Is he going to help out with the kids? Start planning for his departure and what that will look like.
I will disagree here and say that let the separation happen. You are going through ups and downs based on his moods and reactions, and with two little kids it is very hard to get DBing down and also take the time and space for yourself. I can tell you that most people who do in-house separation are highly miserable. There's tons of folks here who did that and it was madness.
I did it for almost a month and it was hell. Only when I physically separated, was I able to take the time and space and not deal with ridiculous moods from W.
So, don't worry about him moving out. Just worry about what life will be for you and the kids and how you will transition to essentially being a single parent.
I think this is most likely your priority. In the mean time before he moves out, stay cool and chill, validate and have your boundaries in place.
I am so sorry you're in this situation. I can't imagine how this is with such little children. He's truly an a$$hole.
