We had to drive by W new place for the first time. My heart sank as we drove by. Guess I still have a long way to go to detach.
She moved out less than a month ago! Detachment is a slow process. We all wish we could push a button and turn detachment on, but that's not realistic. Be patient!
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Then W sends me a text that she called our insurance agent and she has made separate insurance files for both of us and that our agent will be calling me to verify this. My heart sank again. I really looks like she is set on moving on.
Yes she is. RIGHT NOW. It sounds like you are religious, if you've studied the Bible then there is one great lesson to take from it- NO BLESSING ON ANYONE EVER CAME QUICKLY OR EASILY. Right? Think about it. Did Moses lead his people through the wilderness for a few days or weeks before seeing the promised land? No no noooo and he was CHOSEN by God!! So why do you think your M is going to turn around in a few days or weeks? God seems keen on teaching us patience more than anything else. Ask yourself what he is teaching you, try to embrace the lessons.
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It's been a week since I have seen W and I've pretty much gone dark. My gut is telling me this is not working.
After a whole week huh? Do you think those are realistic expectations?
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First, I had an incident with my son who failed to follow up with his teacher about his upcoming exam and pertinent info. I got upset because I was the one to get his teacher to be more flexible (she even offered to volunteer her time at the local library on the weekend)- yet he was the one who failed to follow thru.I made the comment to him that I will not sit idle and allow you to fail- I will carry you up the mountain - All you have top do is hold on! He left for school angry and deflated.
Do you seriously want to raise your son up to be carried by others? Is that what you want? Is that what HE wants? Or do you want to raise him to be strong, independent and self-sufficient? My S is 15 and we really struggled with him this year. He's ADHD and this was his first year of high school. His main difficulties were lack of self-discipline and time management skills. So my ex and I sat down with him and told him we were there to help him but that we wanted HIM to take responsibility. We helped him develop a daily schedule, and we told him we were going to monitor his grades and assignments online and would intervene if his grades were low. Just like your S, he slipped up more than once on follow-through, and when he did we were right there to remind him. He hated being reminded, but we kept stressing that we were just doing it to help him and if he would take the reigns we would no longer need to do that. By the end of the year his grades were way up and our intervention was way down. Your kids don't need you to do everything for them, they just need you to point them in the right direction.
