So one conversation I regret not having with W sooner (before she was involved in an affair, but was spending a lot) was to assert that I needed to have some spending money of my own. I've always put off buying things that I wanted, thinking I couldn't afford it or didn't really need it.
Is it just too late to have this conversation now?
Yes, too late for that conversation now. You are wanting to go back and do things that should have been done long ago. Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them in the future.
Back to the subject of you confronting your W about her A........(sorry, I can't remember if you have solid evidence or just suspect). You seem to think it is standing up for yourself and getting back some self respect. If you believe it that strongly.......then tell her you know about her A!
I am not against a H confronting his WW, just to clarify. I merly want LBH's to understand it is does fix the problem and he had better have an plan that goes beyond just confrontation. If he's not prepared to implement tough love actions, then he best not confront. That's the point I wanted you to understand. You are certainly free to tell her.
I think it is more about pride, than anything else. You want her to know that you know. So......tell her! If you believe it will give you respect.......then tell her you know. But if she denies it....don't be one of these guys that get mad and stay hung up over the fact his WW won't admit to the truth. See what I mean? One thing kind of leads to another. At some point, you just have to accept it is what it is.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
