That sounds pretty amazing to me! I know you are experiencing a lot of pain, and I am really sorry. I have devoted the past eleven years to help newcomers by sharing what I have learned about WW cases during these past years.

I don't want to sound as if I am trying to play psychologist. I get a sense of a little girl trying to be the mother that she and her siblings did not have. When she gets M, she tries to have the picture perfect marriage/home she envisions a family should have. At some point, she felt resentment about something, and she may have tried to talk about it but it wasn't resolved......or maybe she didn't talk about and just push it down in her heart. Resentment breeds more resentment. Then feelings of disrespect follow, and that's when the attraction and "in love" feelings begin to die out. She probably tried to cover up by faking the perfect picture MR to family & friends........but eventually, the rebellion takes over. That's when she becomes another person. Who knows.......she may have thought infidelity was her destiny.......meaning, it was in her blood to cheat. I don't believe in that type of thing, just to clarify, but just describing a possible mental hang up with her relatives history and her struggles of not feeling in love with her H. See what I am saying? When her picture perfect M felt too fake, she gave up and gave in to what she thought was destined. Of course, this is pure speculation on my part.

Actually, I feel your M stands a big chance of reconciliation. You will hear a four letter word often.......t.i.m.e. It takes a lot of time for her to work through her issues.

Keep doing what seems to work. Continue to work hard on your passive-aggressive behavior, and your nice-guy controlling conversations. smile. Read all you can find about NGS and how it affects intimate relationships.

Letting her go, removes all your emotional pressure from her. It frees her. She may feel free enough to talk and break down the wall a brick at a time, IDK. I suspect she has deep resentment that goes beyond her R with you, which adds to the complication. But all you can do is fix yourself. As much as you love her, you can't fix her.

Finding the man you were meant to be, should bring positive results in your life. It may even draw your W back. She fell in love with you once, so it could happen again. Currently you are very vulnerable. She is too. Emotions can be dangerous, so be on high alert. Let wisdom guide, instead of emotions.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!