Thank-you for your response...I've read all of your threads and really respect your opionion..I'm 44 and wife is 34..We met 12 years ago and have been married for 9 years...Yes, my wife is the oldest, she was 5, S3, S1 and she has always been the motherly figure and she's always seemed to have people gravitate towards her that needed help/fixing in one way or another..YES, the Grandfather and Aunt were her mother's father and sister..She was always against counseling, her way to deal with things were to distract herself so to not deal with the emotions, much like she is doing now..."Nothing wrong unless I admit their's a problem" Even all that she's been through my therapist thinks she is very immature emotionally.. Yes, I've read your WW thread many times and it exemplifies her attitude and script to an almost exact replica..However, she has been in constant contact through text just about everyday except for 3 or 4 in the 5 weeks since the bomb drop..Temperature check??Discussing, various stuff like dogs, finances, settlement, etc and the only contact I initiated was to meet to open lines of communication to discuss her thoughts on D moving forward..Other than that I delay my response but am cordial and to the point...I feel as though since I've opened that communication, her walls have come down a bit to the point that I felt like I was really talking to my wife..I know in your thread to be very wary so I'm treading lightly and continue to work on my self by developing positive assertiveness, listening and communication skills.. My self reflection led me to believe that I was controlling things by being passive aggressive so that is something that I've set out to correct...Anyways, I've been acting as if I'm moving on in my life and GAL'ing with lots of new friends and activities...I still deeply love my wife and want nothing more than to make a better relationship than the one we had before and it is tough to be apart when we've shared so many amazing experiences...I do know that my only chance is to "Let her Go" and hope she realizes she'd be a fool to leave for the grass is greener situation...Anyways, this is extremely difficult and I'd appreciate any suggestions...I really feel like I'm heading in the right direction but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I have a huge hole in my chest and the PAIN isn't excruciating every second of the day but I know that victim role isn't going to attract her back..
Thanks again for your input, sorry about the long novels:-)
