Advice for newcomer pre- bomb drop.

[Bern19]

Thanks for your input. I realize i need to work on keeping busy, was just looking for some downtime in front of the TV. Wasn't really expecting her to come and sit down. The fact that she wasn't on her phone the entire time got my attention, because that is her "security blanket". Just sitting there silently was uncomfortable to say the least, but didn't want to be the one engaging.

Since I have no evidence of a new EA/PA, and she hasn't come out and said she wants out, I'm struggling with the application of some of the rules. I get the feeling that the bomb drop is inevitable, but knowing my wife, she can sweep under the rug with the best of them, so who knows if/when she'll finally speak up.

In that sense, I guess my sitch is a touch different than most of what i've read. Everyone else had no clue it was coming and were blindsided. What isn't different is that I can feel the resentment and disrespect coming from her. I feel it's only a matter of time. Because she's a planner, and I exposed her behavior, she may not have all her ducks in a row and just isn't ready yet.

Do i suggest MC or encourage her to go seek IC once the subject is brought up? I'm in the process of searching for a counselor for myself right now. I know the rules say don't initiate Relationship talks, but how should i handle it if she brings it up?