IH, I just posted something about what it would take for me to consider R with my XW:
Quote:
This got me thinking of what it would take for me to trust my XW again if she wanted to R. At first I thought "not possible", but then I wondered.
Me, I could write a book on this subject expressing many of the views I've posted about. I've reflected on it for years and have posted enough content that if I was inspired to organize it, flesh it out, and polish it up it could be a fun read.
So maybe that would be what it would take. If XW was like "I've changed, I want to make this work, what would it take for a second chance?", maybe the right answer is "Publish a 400+ page book that is pro marriage". Hey, if all it took to save your marriage was writing a book then that seems a small price to pay, right? If she can't or won't write that book, how much has really changed?
So yeah, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. You file divorce, I'm going to need some good reasons to open the door again. The 'friendly exchanges' would be there only to provide an opportunity for her to demonstrate a serious transformation of character. If she wanted to start dating again and implied that she regretted not having me in her life that would fall drastically short. I have no interest in repeating a destructive situation.
A texted blushing smiley face a long way from a published book. I agree, cut ties and move forward with your life. If she has something more substantial to say at some point you can always reevaluate.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
