Yet Another LBS w/ WAW

[hongaku]

So, the hardest thing about all of this DB stuff is how simple the concepts actually are, but how difficult they are to implement due to the inevitable emotional turmoil one feels as a LBS. The discipline needed to have the patience required is astounding. I realize that even if I had found DR within the first few days of the BD, while I might be a little further along than I am now, my emotions were so raw that they would have gotten the better of me more often than not at the beginning.

Being able to really utilize the LRT and adhere to the 37 rules is amazing once one has the ability to internalize the concepts. Along with the other self-help books I am reading and learning to communicate more effectively, and to identify and address my own issues properly has been essential in my doing real 180s and successfully acting as if and putting the 4Cs into action.

The other part of that though is really coming to grips with how long this going to actually take to reach potentially having success in achieving a path to reconciliation. I know from reading other stories here that things start to get easier, even as the ups and downs continue. I am still struggling with some key things that are roadblocks to really getting the ball rolling both for myself in GAL and in being able to lay down the foundation for rebuilding respect with my W. The biggest thing is getting a job. I regret having been the stay at home parent in terms of how long a gap I now have on my resume. The job market where I am at (DC Metro area) was actually pretty good just a couple of years ago, now it is extremely competitive and while I have had some promising interviews, I just keep getting passed over. I am sure the gap has a lot to do with it. But, I cannot change the past and I have to keep my head up about this. It just really s**ks because I am doing everything else right, but the job is the key to it all and the longer I remain unemployed, the deeper the hole it seems I have to climb out of in truly regaining respect for myself and from my W.