Hmmmm well Steve I don't think so my friend. Knowing her like I do (or maybe I hshould say as I did since it has been 4 , years) I think she'd make it pretty obvious if she wanted sex. Having said that, I just don't know why she keeps contacting me. This was her longest absence yet but she still contacted me again. I don't know what's going on with her but I doubt whatever it is has anything to do with R. I just don't see any shred of evidence to support that. The only thing I'm certain of, because it's obvious, is that she wants to stay in somewhat regular contact. why that is is anyone's guess but I've grown bored trying to figure her out. I replied saying good for you congrats a few minutes ago. Let's see if she tried to continue the conversation...
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Haha well the problem with that is I smoke like a chimney LH, especially if I'm drinking, so I don't think I'd be very effective in keeping her mind off cigarettes over a bottle of wine LOL! As far as her being interested, I'm not so sure of that either. Reflecting on our times together recently I think she had em friend zoned anyway and I just don't have the patience nor desire to foster a friendship with her. I don't want to waste anymore time on her. I think if she had even an incling of wanting to possibly get back together I would have known it, or at least sensed it by now. This friendship thing doesn't interest me.
Oh and she replied as I am writing this. She said if she can do it anyone can and that she hopes I'm well with a blushy smiley. I replied that "I am well thanks and hope you are too. Good luck."
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well we've been over that theory before LH and as you know others have a different viewpoint, including me. There was, at no time, a window of opportunity to make a move on her that would have had the desired results. It would have ended badly...and most certainly would have put the nail in my coffin. She most definitely wouldn't be reaching out so much if she knew she could have me easily. That's common sense. I appreciate your opinion that I should have been aggressive but as I said, many here in this thread, myself included, think that would have been a very bad idea. She needs to chase ME! She left me...she can chase me. If she doesn't...hasta levista baby. I'm not giving up the driver's seat by making a ill-advise move to sleep with her.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Oh and I forgot to mention that she replied to my last text with a winking smiley. I left it at that.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
If she is reaching out to you it conveys some level of interest. I think you need to call her up and ask her out on a date. If she says "no" at least you know where you stand and you can move on with your life. If she says "yes" then go out, have fun, relax, and enjoy yourself.
She did chase you. Wasn't she sending you sexually explicit texts? She is not going to strip down naked and say please take me. She doesn't want to teach you how to be a man, she wants you to know that already.
Remember IT....you are not DBing any more. I view this as dating a new women, yes you have history but that is way in the past. If you want it you are going to have to put in some effort and stir those emotions inside of her. IMO if you wait too long she will lose whatever interest she has, you will end up in the friend zone, and eventually the texts will stop.
IH - I get your point about the need for her to chase you and everything, and that maybe not making a move earlier was a bad idea - I am still not sure if it would've been.
But, the chasing cannot go forever. Friends of the opposite sex don't make harmless sexual innuendos and jokes. If you're waiting for some clear cut sign like her dropping her dress on the floor, I think you're going to be waiting for a long time. I think she will lose interest if her chasing is not yielding anything from you. For all it matters - she might be thinking you're friend zoning her.
Anyways, I think that, after all that has transpired, and the fact that you're good to move ahead regardless, you should make a move and see what happens. It may lead to an undesirable result, but you'll have an answer.
I don't see the point of waiting around too long. Life is short. You're past DBing now.
