Since you brought up your first W, I feel the need to ask if you are 100% done with her?

Moving on to your current situation, you said:

Quote:
So here is where I am. I have been LRT very hard the past couple of weeks


How would you describe the LRT?

Your W said, "I'm not here to work things out". But then she said she was committed to working things out. Do you find that a bit confusing? If so, let me interpret, since it is written in WW language. She is saying she is not staying with you to work on the MR. She is staying b/c she benefits from what is provided through the M. While she plays with Plan A (OM), she'll still have her M benefits, too. If Plan A fizzles out, she'll use backup Plan B (roommates with you). Either way, she is committed to seeing that things work out for her.

Quote:
1. Be direct with her. Tell her that if she is in love with this other person we both need to move on with our lives. Explain that even though she says she is committed, she isn't.
Tell her that she has become unreliable as a partner and we'll be better off moving forward without each other. I know the ramifications of this approach, as everyone has pointed out it probably will be the nail in the coffin.


And if she lies and denies, what's your next step?

Quote:
2. Stay the course, let the A fizzle out eventually and keep doing the LRT..then decide if she is at a point of trying to start a new R with me. And I know that this is such a difficult approach and will require a lot of strength, strength I'm not sure I have at this point..i'm feeling somewhat on my heels currently.


And, if she says her feelings for you have not returned, what's your next step?

Which option did you chose with your previous W?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!