Corri: I think a bit of good old fashioned communication could have eliminated the "several nights of cuddling" and then blowup incident. Your H has been indoctrinated, as most HD people have been, to not turn every cuddletime into sextime. So when you are cuddling, he has no recourse for "letting things happen naturally"..he is totally dependent on YOU to take it to the next level. So he waits patiently for several nights and then blows. He is a bonehead for not communicating clearly with you, but I think that you could have communicated with him also. Something along the lines of "Let's cuddle tonight and see where it takes us."
YOU have to trust him that he is not going to make every cuddling opportunity a bid for sex. He won't. It might seem like it to you but that is because the two of you have different ideas of what is a reasonable amount of sex to pursue from your partner.
HE has to trust you that you won't get offended by him wanting to turn cuddletime into sextime and also he must learn to trust that the majority of his advances will not get turned down.
Also, I know that I really appreciate it when my H states his wishes clearly upfront. I am not a mind reader and have no idea what his heart's desires are. So if he says, Tonight let's just cuddle and see where it leads us. That is an immense relief to me. I know where he is coming from and I know that I am not going to step on his toes by turning a perfectly good cuddling match into something "ugly" by sexin it up.
I know that Schnarch says to be yourself and ask for what you want, etc, but your H is not on the same page as you are. He is still in the "don't be a bastard and turn this into a bid for sex" routine.
Well, I have no idea if this post was coherent or not. Right in the middle, D2 pooped on the carpet (we have hardwood floors in every room but the kids bedrooms and of course that's where she had to go) and now I can't think straight.
