You know who else offers hope? Psychics and con artists and many divorce lawyers. They pray on vulnerable people. Most of us here were in abusive or toxic situations. We are the most vulnerable. Chrissy, scouring these forums coming on here with help for over 100 dollars an hour for a phone visit? Whats the difference between her and an ambulabce chaser?
Hope is what brought pretty much all of us here. And hope is what kept some of us fighting for something that was already dead. I remember writing to another poster quite some time ago who was really trying to understand and analyze that by the time most people ended up here, we were a very small set of those who could possibly reconcile. It takes an act of desperation to throw yourself on the some-times not so tender mercies of a peer supported forum.
Many of the strategies promoted by MWD are very likely quite effective in the "he leaves the toilet seat up" and "she doesn't think my truck is sexy" land but not so much for the "she's been banging the milk-man for months now" class.
I have noticed though and did check back and it's been some time since Christy has done her little welcome pitch. Close on to a year now I think. That and some of the other issues we have technically make me think that the company sponsoring this site isn't focused on it. Thank heavens for the moderators who are doing their best trying to keep things afloat despite an apparent lack of support.
From a commercial standpoint, this place is an entry-way into the counseling and book selling business. I have no problem with that. Bills gotta get paid. And I've witnessed people on this forum who have been legitimately helped by the services provided. I am in many ways one of them despite some very very nasty turns and conflicts I had with some very unkind people here who believed that they alone possessed "the truth".
The one question though that I burned to have an answer for at the beginning and was unable to get was "should I be hoping". I see this being asked from time to time - I don't pay too much attention to newcomers anymore - and still see people being given a hard time for not drinking the kool-aid of hope and "da rules" etc given to them by people who are themselves new to this too.
I think it boils down to "ya get what ya pays fer". I continue to be grateful for people like job, dream, and especially Jack_Three_Beans who have all been very kind to a lost and confused man.
By agreeing to be in this "house" we agree to play by their rules. It would be good if we could spare others the grief and sorrow caused by hope held on to too long - but who are we to judge? I get chastized sometimes when I post that not only do I not know the answers, but those others here also don't know the answers. And in many cases, people only accept the answers they want to hear.
That "confirmation bias" which I wrote about very many times along with the associated cognitive dissonance meant that I kept seeking the answers I wanted to hear. Which were perhaps not the ones I needed to hear.
Just my 2 cents Canadian.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
