"I get the feeling though that none of this is actually working. I'm going to keep going with it."

We all go through that. When I started to detach my W loved it at first. I wasn't pestering her for R talks. I wasn't pursuing or pressuring. But a couple of weeks in a weird thing happened. I went into the bedroom one night I was home to read. About an hour went by and she came down the hall, looked into the bedroom. We made eye contact and she said "I just wondered where you were." That hadn't happened in MONTHS. I could have been laying dead under the refrigerator and she wouldn't have come looking for me. Detaching's #1 power is the lack of pursuit and pressure from you on her. After a while she wonders what happened.

The next thing that started happening is she started asking "what's wrong?" This is a classic sign of a WAW/WW noticing the lack of pursuit and pressure. It is also when they start realizing that their control over you is slipping away. This is when they will start acting out to try to regain control.

DBing isn't about feeling like it is working. It is about consistent behavior on your part and letting the process work over time.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018