Wow, Corri, first I want you to know that this feels SO COOL to me, because I feel (for the first time) like we're communicating as (almost) peers. I have an enormous amount of respect for you, and that increases with each post of yours I read. To see you, the LD spouse, being the one to work on this PM stuff fills me with enormous hope.
Now, to the matter at hand:
Quote: I'm sure you are aware that it's a lot easier to see where someone else is messing up, but way harder to do on yourself, you know?
Amen, sister! I can't come up with the page number, or even the chapter, but there's one point where he talks about "what your spouse does that drives you up the wall. I'm sure you can list it right now, but it's an act of differentiation to see it in yourself."
Quote: ...if he needs me to comfort him... it proves to me that he needs me, without me risking wanting him... yes? If he doesn't need me to comfort him... what does that mean to me? Who's anxious now?
If you need him to need you, how does that tie into your self-image? Can you be your self if he needs you less? Isn't it one of the things that BUGS you how needy he is? Doesn't it make you relate to him more like a "mommy" than a wife? Maybe there's something there... only sickos want to ML with their little boy...
Quote: He wants me to want him, but he doesn't want to want me in return.
And having read as much in the book as you have, you have a much better idea why...
Quote: So if that is the case, then my 'drive' isn't the issue at all... it's our 'fusion.'
That's what I get from the book, and it's why I'm so excited...
Quote: This weekend when we made love, we truly, truly connected, more than just physically.
Have you tried kissing with eyes open? I won't even ask about O with eyes open, I'll assume that's negatory so far... You're making perfect sense, and I do hope you'll post more on these topics, because my understanding goes only so far. I think your understanding is FAR deeper, and I value your input. You said more in that one post to SD and CeMar than I have in a whole week of postings. You rock, girl...
