Quote: And if I say no to "I want sex," that is not a rejection of him, but of the process. It's not all about him and what he needs. Get over yourself and approach me like an adult, like the loving spouse that I am. Give me an opportunity to create something with you, not meet a demand.
Hi Corri - Here is my view as the HD one in my marriage. I tried for YEARS to be the adult, to give my LDH space, to give him the opportunity to create something with me. He is the one who acted like the shrinking violet and had a zillion excuses not to ML. And you LD people can say it until you're blue in the face, but dammit it DOES feel like rejection to us HD'ers. Maybe you're not rejecting "us" but just rejecting "sex" but it really doesn't feel like that. I agree with Tim - your H is probably scared to death of initiating. For one thing, he is afraid you will reject him. He's also probably afraid that if one of your nice/cuddly times turns into him wanting sex that you will then avoid any future cuddle times because you think it will turn into sex. Finally, gosh darn it, maybe he wants YOU to want HIM. Maybe he'd like it if one of those cuddle times turned YOU on to the fact that you desired him and could not keep your hands off of him.
It's easy to say he should have acted like an adult, but give him a little space because in this department he's shivering in his knickers like a little boy afraid to knock on your door and ask you to come out and play.
