The problem is that many of the posters on here have been gaslighted by their spouses. Their spouses are secret addicts, or secret/open cheaters. We have even had a pedophile spouse on here.
The problem is 180s and validation techniques and petting the kitten crap just takes away the power of the LBS. It perpetuates the abuse at a time that we just needed to hear "hes cheating and lying and exposing you to diseases...run!" Not your marriage can actually be stronger after infidelity.
I think she needs to distinguish from a marriage that can be saved and continuing on in a abusive situation for the sake of the marriage. The problem as vanilla has pointed out, is that the truly abused dont realize that they are being abused. They grab on to books and promises like preventing a divorce because they believe their spouses lies. They believe it was them. That they were the problems. Thats what they have been brainwashed with by their wayward spouses.
JujuB,
I completely agree! That's why I preach "pack their sh*t and boot 'em out."
