The thing is, for those few nights, neither one of us was suffering. We were paying attention to one another, and neither one of us was trying to take our interactions anywhere other than where they led.
I think what my H has difficulty doing with me, however, is expressing when he DOES want it to lead to sex.
If any of those nights had led to sex, fantastic. I wasn't pushing it to go anywhere... I was enjoying being with him. He said he felt the same way.
I think my H is feeling anxious (about other things), and when he gets anxious, he looks to me to comfort him. But I don't do well with demands. If he wants to have sex with me, fine, let's slow down, take our time, so we BOTH can enjoy it. I have no interest in letting him make use of my body, for it is my body after all. Not that he does that... but a statement of, "I want sex," does not get me from 0 to 10.
And if I say no to "I want sex," that is not a rejection of him, but of the process. It's not all about him and what he needs. Get over yourself and approach me like an adult, like the loving spouse that I am. Give me an opportunity to create something with you, not meet a demand.
Corri
P.S. Meat, if you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. I think Tim and AD would second that.
