Thanks Hongaku. All good advice. I've not read DR but will get it along with on the books you suggest on validation. I do still want to reconnect with my W, but only if she gets to the stage where she feels the same, and only if there is no OM. I've told her this, and this is what she's thinking about, although as I say, I think she has already made up her made and is just biding her time to be sure.
I've gone back to read Sandi2's advice in lots of her posts. Deep wisdom indeed and so accurate in portraying what I'm seeing from my W. Scary really. I'm still learning, but all this information and knowledge is hopefully making me a better person, and eventually a better partner - either for my W, if we do reconcile, or for someone else...
_______________________________________________ M47 W50 T-21 yrs M-19 Yrs S17 S15 D12 Found out about A 04/12/18 BD 04/15/18 Admitted A, name of AP and separate rooms 04/29/18 Told kids 07/22/18
