Can I really do this #3

[SteveLW]

sandi is spot on, as usual. And remember, if it is on EA she likely will not lift a finger towards D, but anytime you get to close to the EA (suspicious, actual knowledge or evidence) she will THREATEN it like crazy. This was my sitch to a tee. I initiated BD by confronting her with the evidence of her EA. She immediately went to "I don't want to be married any more. I am going to get a job, get an apartment and a divorce you."

Looking back, that might have been a fantasy she had, but I think a lot of it was a tactic to back off. When I resigned myself to it then it became to real and she started to back off of it.

Also confronting an EA with firm, controlled anger, and confidence ("I am not standing for this, I am going to D you if it doesn't stop.") goes a lot further toward ending the EA than the sad, woe is me, I'll do whatever you tell me response.